This time tomorrow I should be landing on the Greek island of Rhodes.
Having a sneaky wee break with my significant other ie. The Bird.
I hope to post to Tumblr if I can come across some free WiFi over there … I may be able to comment on the further decline of the Brit abroad.
It’s a horrible beast - ugly, drunk and sunburnt … I assure you if I see any union jack hankies on heads I will photograph the offender before I garrote them with my iPhone charger cable.
It’s the only way forward - the systematic destruction of all Brits. We are dragging the rest of the world down into our sinking spiral of shit.
I intend to be the agent our own extinction.
I predict it will take years … But I am far beyond driven.
It will end with me alone - the final Brit -standing on the white cliffs of Dover dressed in a combat jacket with a mohican and a beta-max copy Taxi Driver strapped just above my boot.
I shall turn my back on the smoking derelict wasteland and look out to the English Channel. Breath a long sigh of relief and jump into deliverance.
Nah …
Maybe I just need to chill out a wee bit more eh?
I am Scottish after all … And we are pure magic by the way.
3 years ago